Greg's Corner of No Where

There is no denying that we are in an economic crisis.  The only debate is whether this constitutes a recession or depression.  I’ll leave that for the economist and other academic navel gazers who add little to the GNP of the country.  

Politicians all around the world are rolling out stimulus packages, ala F.D. Roosevelt’s new deal.  Pour money into the economy in order to kick start spending and get the economic engine going again.  Oh yeah, just give us more of what got us into this mess in the first place.

This short term measure might get the economy going, but it fails to address the fundamental problem.  The problem is not economic.  The problem is social.  The problem is people.  Their expectations, their wants, their needs and their desires to have it all – no matter the cost. 

On one hand you have the greedy – who are most likely university trained MBA’s who want nothing more than to suck all of the money out of the hands of the consumer.  I remember sitting in meetings planning how the company I worked for could get “more wallet share from our customers”.  That didn’t mean giving them anything more valuable.  It was how to coerce them into spending more with us.

On the other hand you have the needy, who want it all, don’t want to work for it and want it now – no matter the cost or future consequences.  These are the people who will mortgage their future and the future of their children for the latest, greatest, biggest, better, best.  Keeping up with the Jones has taken on an entirely new meaning in this decade of opulence and decadence.  Does that new purchase really add to your life, or is it a show piece that will allow you to be viewed by your peers as having “made it”?

There are so many totally useless items out there that do little or nothing to add value to society, but to which marketers have convinced people that they need to have it to be “in”.  Then there is the segment who will make credit easily available, with no concern if that stupid consumer has the intelligence to manage their debt or the means to repay the debt.  Nope, lend the money, such them dry, keep them behind the eight ball and one pay cheque away from bankruptcy.  Yeah that is really the socially conscious thing to do. 

Unfortunately I have worked 18 of the last 21 years in an industry that is as guilty as any and there are people, very close and dear to me, who work in industries which exemplify our society’s focus the useless and willingness to over pay for items they do not need; can not afford; or provide no socially redeeming qualities.  But my frustration is coming to a boil and I can not keep these thoughts inside me any more.  I may be written off as too cynical, even naïve, simplistic or dubbed a raving lunatic. But I will be speak.  If I don’t I am no better than the problem I see.

So in the coming days  I will exam the current economic crisis and relate it to the underlying failings and weaknesses of humans that have directly contributed to our current crisis.

This will include a look at:

  - Telecommunication – what value does call waiting have?

  - Automotive – the pinnacle of wasted resources and spent dreams

  - Entertainment – why does anyone care who wore what at the Oscars, Grammys or to dinner?

  - How much is enough – is anybody really worth $12,000,000 dollars a year?

  - What role are politicians and governments playing?  It doesn’t matter what political stripe you have.

  - Where do we go from here?

I have made it my mission to make store cashiers that I come in contact with laugh before I leave the store.  Unfortunately it is often at the expense of my lovely wife Stacey! 

Why?  Because the power of laughter is wonderful and cashiers have to deal with people, grumpy or otherwise, all day who all too often don’t even acknowledge their existence and I’ve always had a desire to be a stand up comic.

Oh look there’s ball…..I have a friend from Saint John who has gone back to school to be a stand up comic.  Seriously, there is a college course at Humber that teaches how to be a stand up comic.  That is wonderful and I would love to do something like that.  So John Mazerolle good luck and best wishes to you.  You have far more determination and courage than I will ever have. 

And I hope John has a wonderfully successful career.  He is a very wonderful and funny writer but to transition that to the stage is big leap.  For his courage and perseverance I applaud him.

For me, (back on the main track…..) I’ll take my small step and do it to a limited audience in the grocery or drug store line-up, which is probably better than the police line up.  “so did you hear the one about the cop who……”, yeah I don’t think that would work to well.

I’m really lucky.  My very wonderful wife Stacey is often the foil for my jokes.  But she laughs along and has, without words, given me permission to be the goofy self I love to be. 

Take yesterday for example.  We were in Shoppers Drug Mart.  She lined up in the cash line, and soon several people lined up behind her.  I was entertaining Bethany with the Halloween toys and eventually wondered to where Stacey was standing in line. Of course right there in front of everyone, in all it glory and colour, are all those wonderfully stimulating and intellectually challenging tabloids.  I stood several feet away from Stacey and loudly asked her; “OK, let’s see which celebrity is having an affair with an alien this week!” and then followed up with “oh look, another story about Brad and Angelie, I’m so excited.”  My voice dripping with all the sarcasm I could mustard.

The lady behind Stacey immediately started to chuckle…oh I had a live (and susceptible) audience and that’s all I need.  Slipping beside Stacey as she rang our purchases through I did a “politically incorrect” British accent, poking fun at the Halloween decorations, and then the cashier asked Stacey the all important question “do you have an Optimum Card?” 

Knowing full well she does I promptly asked where it was.  Stacey pulled out her wallet, to which I (again louder than necessary) announce, “What you don’t have it out already?”  The cashier flashed a grin, the lady behind Stacey had a look of mixed shock (what the hell is he saying) and amusement (why doesn’t she have Optimum Card out?)

Stacey went for her purse to find it, but it wasn’t in the “normal” spot so she was now searching.  “you mean you are going to make all these people wait while you search for your card?”.  I thought the cashier was going to go for cover.

Now every male knows a women’s purse is like a black hole for all things.  Stacey begins digging.  I peer over her shoulder and say “you know you are just like the little old ladies who wait for the last minute to find the exact change”. Switching voice I say ‘just a sec, I know it here is somewhere, yes, here it is, 25, 30, 40 cents…..”.  I thought the cashier was going to pee herself.  The lady behind Stacey was now outright laughing. 

And thank goodness for the wonderful person Stacey is.  She begins laughing right along and looks at me and dead pans “you are such an ass!”

“A good one” I promptly reply. 

That is one of the many wonderful things I love about Stacey.  She lets me be goofy, plays the straight man (er person) and never complains.  Then as we walk away from the cashier she takes out her mitten (it is getting cold here) and promptly begins to “beat” me with it all the way out of the store and repeats “you are such an smart ass”.  Of course all of that is spoken through her streams of laughter and chuckles from those we’ve left behind.

Later on we get to a book store and are browsing.  Stacey loves books and devours them like nobody I know, so this is like being in a candy store.  She is lost in her world of titles and authors trying to figure out which LA Bank novel she hasn’t got yet. 

I’m wondering aimlessly around the store, hands in pocket, just looking.  The young man behind the counter quietly asks “Can I help you?” 

My reply, “No I’m with her” and I point directly at Stacey, who, upon hearing her name looks up inquisitively.  “But don’t tell her,” I say after an appropriate pause, “she doesn’t know I’m stalking her.”

The clerk chuckled and Stacey immediately followed with “oh he is such a dumb ass”.

And my mission is complete!  I have made the mundane work of a couple of clerks at least a little more lively.  I have made people laugh, which is so wonderful.  Maybe that is part of the reason John is taking on the Comics course.  Who knows.

And again I have to say how much I love my fabulous wife Stacey.  She allows me and encourages me to be me (whether that is a smart or dumb ass), and act as goofy and zany as I want to be.  And she laughs at my jokes. 

So to each of you who might read this; the next time you are in a cashiers line up, don’t just ignore the poor soul who is robbing you.  Get them to laugh and let your comedic self shine through.

Happy Halloween every.  I hope you have a spooktacular evening.

Unless you are a hermit you have heard that the economy is in teetering .  Lending institutions in the United States are in trouble, the financial markets are melting down, investors are getting “nervous” (yeah right!) and the free market now needs government intervention to keep it from collapsing on the average person.  With the US markets in turmoil the world markets are feeling the ripples.  AND I know why!

Anyone who has taken an introductory University Economics and Psychology course will know the reasons for this melt down.  It comes down to two words:

1. Hedonism  - the doctrine that pleasure or happiness is the highest good.  And devotion to pleasure is a way of life

2. Greed - excessive or rapacious desire, especially for wealth or possessions.  (isn’t it ironic that the website I used for the definition brought up a “Future Shop” ad).

I have for many years been telling anyone who would listen, which usually meant friends during a beer induced rant, that we live in an all too consumer driven economy.  People have no sense of what is realistic.  Society has become far to hedonistic in its approach to living.  The pursuit of pleasure meant if people wanted something, they would get it now, no matter the cost or whether they had the money to afford it.  The big SUV, the big house, the fancy cloths, the shoes, the latest and greatest electronic gadgets were all purchased and usually on credit. 

Society lost the concept of restraint or living within their means.  “Don’t pay” events, “we’ll pay your first payment”, “No money – no problem” events allowed people to buy without consideration of having to pay for this crap.  They could get what ever they wanted or felt they needed to fit into the “in crowd”.  But why do we need bigger vehicles or that mansion?  Does anyone REALLY need an iPhone?  If yes, why? 

“Greed” applies to corporations who, driven by the profit motive, have introduced a plethora of products that serve no purpose other than to make an individual feel special.  And if that person couldn’t afford it, no problem!  They sold the “paper” to another company who would make exorbitant profits off the usury interest levels they charge the idiots who felt they needed something bigger, better or best. 

This of course drove demand, which created jobs, which created “wealth”, which created the desire to have more, better, bigger and the cycle continued.

As long as consumers could afford to make the interest payments then all was well.  But if there was a hick-up in the system and they got behind, then watch out. 

Corporations will fall back on the axiom that they never held a gun to anyone’s head to make them buy.  But that is a cop out.  Corporations have spent gobs of money on understanding what are the “triggers” that make people buy.  They create ads that make people feel they need an iPhone to be cool, or without the designer cloths they are worthless.  They do database compiling along with psychographic profiling to figure out exactly how to “increase their share of the consumer’s wallet”.  AND then spend billions on advertising to convince people that they need what it being sold.

And then there are the lending institutions that allowed consumers to borrow far beyond what they could afford to pay back.  These corporations seriously need to look at their motives.  Bank and finance executives for years have taken obscene bonuses, while the average person was collapsing under a growing crush of credit. 

Did these institution realize what they were doing to the common person?   If you answer no, then you are more naive than I ever give you credit for. 

Psychology 101 – people will pursue happiness (hedonism)

Economics 101 – people will seek to maximize their return on investment (greed). 

And remember, “there is a sucker born every minute”  and two who are willing to sell to them….

In simplest terms the current economic crisis was been created by people’s desire to have more then they can afford and corporation’s willingness to sell, or lend money, to people who cannot afford what they are buying. 

Once those who cannot afford to buy, cannot afford to pay, those who lend are left with huge problems.  They are holding the paper on a bunch of “stuff” that no one else can afford to buy.  So they tighten up on the lending. 

When the supply of money tightens up, then the hedonistic society cannot get the money to buy the “stuff, they really don’t need.  AND they may “turn back” that which they can not pay for.

The supply of “stuff” (houses, fancy cars, electronic, etc)  increases and the value of those goods decreases, manufactures stop producing “stuff” because the market (of idiots willing to buy) has dried up. 

The domino effect takes over and the system collapses on itself.  All because of hedonism and greed.  

Unfortunately my cynical self does not see a solution in the future.  The memory of society is very short and soon those hedonistic people (the suckers) will be buying again and the cycle will start all over again. 

Oh, and in this situation there are also the maggots who will seek to profit from the collapse.  The auction houses, the repossession companies, the CEOs of major lending institutions who will get billions in government handouts to protect those obscene bonuses they paid themselves.

Take it from a cynical realist – we are in trouble and we only have ourselves to blame for our troubles.  Every one of us is either a consumer or someone trying to sell something.  Are you spending beyond your means?  Is what you are selling truly filling a consumer’s wants and needs, without artificially making them feel inferior if they don’t have it?