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March 10 Economic Crisis - A cynic's perspectiveThere is no denying that we are in an economic crisis. The only debate is whether this constitutes a recession or depression. I’ll leave that for the economist and other academic navel gazers who add little to the GNP of the country.
Politicians all around the world are rolling out stimulus packages, ala F.D. Roosevelt’s new deal. Pour money into the economy in order to kick start spending and get the economic engine going again. Oh yeah, just give us more of what got us into this mess in the first place.
This short term measure might get the economy going, but it fails to address the fundamental problem. The problem is not economic. The problem is social. The problem is people. Their expectations, their wants, their needs and their desires to have it all – no matter the cost.
On one hand you have the greedy – who are most likely university trained MBA’s who want nothing more than to suck all of the money out of the hands of the consumer. I remember sitting in meetings planning how the company I worked for could get “more wallet share from our customers”. That didn’t mean giving them anything more valuable. It was how to coerce them into spending more with us.
On the other hand you have the needy, who want it all, don’t want to work for it and want it now – no matter the cost or future consequences. These are the people who will mortgage their future and the future of their children for the latest, greatest, biggest, better, best. Keeping up with the Jones has taken on an entirely new meaning in this decade of opulence and decadence. Does that new purchase really add to your life, or is it a show piece that will allow you to be viewed by your peers as having “made it”?
There are so many totally useless items out there that do little or nothing to add value to society, but to which marketers have convinced people that they need to have it to be “in”. Then there is the segment who will make credit easily available, with no concern if that stupid consumer has the intelligence to manage their debt or the means to repay the debt. Nope, lend the money, such them dry, keep them behind the eight ball and one pay cheque away from bankruptcy. Yeah that is really the socially conscious thing to do.
Unfortunately I have worked 18 of the last 21 years in an industry that is as guilty as any and there are people, very close and dear to me, who work in industries which exemplify our society’s focus the useless and willingness to over pay for items they do not need; can not afford; or provide no socially redeeming qualities. But my frustration is coming to a boil and I can not keep these thoughts inside me any more. I may be written off as too cynical, even naïve, simplistic or dubbed a raving lunatic. But I will be speak. If I don’t I am no better than the problem I see.
So in the coming days I will exam the current economic crisis and relate it to the underlying failings and weaknesses of humans that have directly contributed to our current crisis.
This will include a look at: - Telecommunication – what value does call waiting have? - Automotive – the pinnacle of wasted resources and spent dreams - Entertainment – why does anyone care who wore what at the Oscars, Grammys or to dinner? - How much is enough – is anybody really worth $12,000,000 dollars a year? - What role are politicians and governments playing? It doesn’t matter what political stripe you have. - Where do we go from here? November 15 ReminiscingWhy am I reminiscing so much? Is it turning 50? Is it going through decades of old photos and laughing at the way I looked?
What ever the reason, I’ve been doing a lot of reminiscing lately. Sometimes it is about a specific person, like a former girlfriend I haven’t spoken to in over 30 years. I wonder what Monique is doing now? Is she still a dental hygienist, did she ever marry and have kids? And what might have happened had I not been so emotionally immature and a jerk at that time.
The strongest thoughts I’ve had lately have been the years spent playing football. Oh I was young when I first put the pads on. I think I started playing at 12 or 13 in the midget league. Prince George had neither a large population nor a lot of football players so there were only two teams in both the midget and bantam leagues. Lakewood, the one I played for and the evil Dutchess Park teams.
The first coach I ever had was a big black guy, who’s last name was Washington. He claimed he had played in the NFL, but I can’t remember if that was ever confirmed. He was a good coach. Drilled us hard and drove the fundamentals home. But beyond being black in a predominately white community I don’t remember much about him.
I played offensive centre or defensive nose tackle most of the time. I was short, stocky and not very fast. I could hit hard and low, but couldn’t catch or run worth a damn. Yeah I was a lineman. I do remember my biggest challenge as a centre was being able to remember the snap count. Gee I guess I can’t blame my bad short term memory on age!
When I advanced to the Bantam league we played for the Lakewood Lakers and played out of the Lakewood Junior High School. We were not a high school team, but used the change room and field to practise and play games. Again there were only two teams in the league. Hell there were only two teams in all of Northern BC! We would always kick Dutchess Park in the final and for two years I played we got to travel to Vancouver to play in the provincial finals.
What a joke! We were true hicks coming out of the sticks. Our equipment was old and tattered. The kids in the south were bigger, stronger, better coached and better equipped. I mean they had cage face masks, where all we had were t-bars. The one game I remember most clearly was played at Swanguard Stadium in Burnaby. We were in awe to be playing in a “real” football stadium. With stands, dressing rooms, a score board and groomed grass. We got beat 45-0 and were NEVER in contention!.
The other truly strong memory I have is of the practises. In Bantam football our coach was named Doug Strachan. He liked to make us work – Hard! I always hated running, but here I was doing laps with full football gear on and then running wind sprints. I thought my guts were going to come out my mouth!
Strange, but we hit harder in practises than we ever did in games. There were a number of drills which gave us the opportunity to lay some really wicked crunches on our team mates.
One was called “closing the door”. The coach would lay two tackling dummies about 5 yards apart. The backs would line up on one side and the lineman on the other. The back would be tossed a ball his objective was to run through the “door” (the tackling dummies). The lineman’s objective; “close the door”. Now just think about 15 and 16 year old pubescent males, with hormones going crazy, being given the opportunity to hammer each other. There we some crazy hits and I saw a number of guys carried out of the way so the next two could go at it.
Another drill was “catch the pig”. This was most fun just after a rain. The coach would find the wettest, muddiest spot on the field. Again, the back on one side, the lineman on the other. The football was tossed into the mud and two guys had to scramble for it. The winner was the guy who came up with the ball.
The “gauntlet” was usually a disciplinary drill. If some players were goofing off, or not putting in the effort the coach wanted he would line up the team in two lines, about three apart. Then the chosen kid would be given the football and told to run through the two lines. Everyone of us could take one shot at the play. Since I was one of the shortest player that time (everyone had a growth spurt and I never did) I would usually plant my helmet in the mid section just below the shoulder pads. It was always rewarding the hear the “ugh” as the wind was taken out of the poor sap.
Eventually football lost it’s lustre. During my final year the Dutchess Park team finally became competitive and started to beat us. This really pissed the coach off, cause he thought we should never loose. After one particularly brutal game he marched into the dressing and announced that no one was to take off their equipment. We were all going back on the field for a full contact practise. This was late November and it was bloody cold out there and he really put us through.
Practises stopped being fun. The coach became more of jerk than a mentor.
He also introduced some more complex blocking patterns. Two of them required the offensive centre (me) to pull out of my position and block either the defensive tackle or end. In the cross block, the guard was to move first, then I would follow behind him and hit the defensive tackle. By crossing we got better angles on the defensive player. In the other I pulled out from my position, the offensive guard and tackle blocked down and I was to hit the defensive end as he came into the back field (presumable thinking he was going to get a free run at the QB). The full back was to follow me through the opening I created.
Now consider this - in both of these plays I was the trailing blocker and was getting small relative to my team mates and I was not too quick on my feet.
So I remember getting run over or spiked in the back of legs many times by a full back who over six feet tall and probably 170 lbs, while I was maybe 5’4”/ 140 lbs. Not a lot of fun!
The “straw that broke the camel’s back was one game when I came up to the line I took a moment to look around. The defensive nose guard in front of me was at least six feet tall and I was looking directly into his chest. When I looked at the guards on either side of me I couldn’t see over their shoulder pads. I was at least a head shorter than everyone.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out when you are in the wrong sport.
But I enjoyed the years I played. It kept me shape, it taught me discipline, it introduced me to the importance of team work and allowed me to be part of a special group. So the reminiscing I do about football bring back very special memories and feelings. Although I have no desire to put the football pads on again. I still have bruises from the practise drills.
October 30 The Power of LaughterI have made it my mission to make store cashiers that I come in contact with laugh before I leave the store. Unfortunately it is often at the expense of my lovely wife Stacey!
Why? Because the power of laughter is wonderful and cashiers have to deal with people, grumpy or otherwise, all day who all too often don’t even acknowledge their existence and I’ve always had a desire to be a stand up comic.
Oh look there’s ball…..I have a friend from Saint John who has gone back to school to be a stand up comic. Seriously, there is a college course at Humber that teaches how to be a stand up comic. That is wonderful and I would love to do something like that. So John Mazerolle good luck and best wishes to you. You have far more determination and courage than I will ever have.
And I hope John has a wonderfully successful career. He is a very wonderful and funny writer but to transition that to the stage is big leap. For his courage and perseverance I applaud him.
For me, (back on the main track…..) I’ll take my small step and do it to a limited audience in the grocery or drug store line-up, which is probably better than the police line up. “so did you hear the one about the cop who……”, yeah I don’t think that would work to well.
I’m really lucky. My very wonderful wife Stacey is often the foil for my jokes. But she laughs along and has, without words, given me permission to be the goofy self I love to be.
Take yesterday for example. We were in Shoppers Drug Mart. She lined up in the cash line, and soon several people lined up behind her. I was entertaining Bethany with the Halloween toys and eventually wondered to where Stacey was standing in line. Of course right there in front of everyone, in all it glory and colour, are all those wonderfully stimulating and intellectually challenging tabloids. I stood several feet away from Stacey and loudly asked her; “OK, let’s see which celebrity is having an affair with an alien this week!” and then followed up with “oh look, another story about Brad and Angelie, I’m so excited.” My voice dripping with all the sarcasm I could mustard.
The lady behind Stacey immediately started to chuckle…oh I had a live (and susceptible) audience and that’s all I need. Slipping beside Stacey as she rang our purchases through I did a “politically incorrect” British accent, poking fun at the Halloween decorations, and then the cashier asked Stacey the all important question “do you have an Optimum Card?”
Knowing full well she does I promptly asked where it was. Stacey pulled out her wallet, to which I (again louder than necessary) announce, “What you don’t have it out already?” The cashier flashed a grin, the lady behind Stacey had a look of mixed shock (what the hell is he saying) and amusement (why doesn’t she have Optimum Card out?)
Stacey went for her purse to find it, but it wasn’t in the “normal” spot so she was now searching. “you mean you are going to make all these people wait while you search for your card?”. I thought the cashier was going to go for cover.
Now every male knows a women’s purse is like a black hole for all things. Stacey begins digging. I peer over her shoulder and say “you know you are just like the little old ladies who wait for the last minute to find the exact change”. Switching voice I say ‘just a sec, I know it here is somewhere, yes, here it is, 25, 30, 40 cents…..”. I thought the cashier was going to pee herself. The lady behind Stacey was now outright laughing.
And thank goodness for the wonderful person Stacey is. She begins laughing right along and looks at me and dead pans “you are such an ass!”
“A good one” I promptly reply.
That is one of the many wonderful things I love about Stacey. She lets me be goofy, plays the straight man (er person) and never complains. Then as we walk away from the cashier she takes out her mitten (it is getting cold here) and promptly begins to “beat” me with it all the way out of the store and repeats “you are such an smart ass”. Of course all of that is spoken through her streams of laughter and chuckles from those we’ve left behind.
Later on we get to a book store and are browsing. Stacey loves books and devours them like nobody I know, so this is like being in a candy store. She is lost in her world of titles and authors trying to figure out which LA Bank novel she hasn’t got yet.
I’m wondering aimlessly around the store, hands in pocket, just looking. The young man behind the counter quietly asks “Can I help you?”
My reply, “No I’m with her” and I point directly at Stacey, who, upon hearing her name looks up inquisitively. “But don’t tell her,” I say after an appropriate pause, “she doesn’t know I’m stalking her.”
The clerk chuckled and Stacey immediately followed with “oh he is such a dumb ass”.
And my mission is complete! I have made the mundane work of a couple of clerks at least a little more lively. I have made people laugh, which is so wonderful. Maybe that is part of the reason John is taking on the Comics course. Who knows.
And again I have to say how much I love my fabulous wife Stacey. She allows me and encourages me to be me (whether that is a smart or dumb ass), and act as goofy and zany as I want to be. And she laughs at my jokes.
So to each of you who might read this; the next time you are in a cashiers line up, don’t just ignore the poor soul who is robbing you. Get them to laugh and let your comedic self shine through.
Happy Halloween every. I hope you have a spooktacular evening. October 09 Elections!In Canada we have an election coming up real soon! Like Tuesday soon. Oh it is not as exciting as the US election. We don’t have a visible minority leading one of the parties, or a potential Playboy Bunny as a Vice President candidate.
No we are doing it in the normal boring Canadian way….we have a geek, with the emotional range of Mr. Spock; a dweeb who can really only speak one of our official languages and a bald headed middle aged guy who sees himself as a bit of a rebel without a clue.
WAIT! We do have a woman leading one of the parties, but they have no elected members, limited appeal with the populace and even more limited budget to run the election. OH AND I almost forgot. We have an aging separatist who is now torn between collecting his substantial pension from Ottawa and leading a potential be third world country.
I actually want to make up a political sign for my front lawn. It would have every party’s logo on it and big black letters across the placard it would read;
IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER!
Sad, but true. No matter who gets elected to lead this nation I don’t think the average person would see much change. The bureaucracy would stifle them. Those who really run the country would see to it that the status quo was not upset and the true power base not altered. The rich will get richer and the rest of us will pay their taxes and higher gas prices.
Come to think of it, we are not that much different from the US. Except they have more interesting candidates, who like to spread more mud and BS. And they have to be more worried about someone trying to blow their heads off. Yes it would be wonderful to live in a country where assault rifles are welcome and the whackos who own them seen as heroes of the country’s independence!
So everyone get out and vote on Tuesday. Your vote almost matters! October 08 The SniperThe young Canadian Private scrambled for cover behind the blown wall of the historic city. Dusk was settling in.
“Damn it” he screamed under his breath, barely hearing himself over the pounding of his racing heart.
A road side bomb had destroyed the APV he had been riding in. He scanned the area, remembering the training he received just a week before. “Watch out for snipers! They like to use snipers to pick off any who survive”.
He checked himself out. Nothing broken, a small amount of blood dripped from his nose. It was the damn ringing in his ears that was driving him crazy. And just above the ring he could hear the moans of a fellow soldier. Looking back at the mangled hunk of steel he had just been riding in he could see an arm, but just the arm, nothing else. The moaning soldier lay 3 meters from the wreckage, covered in blood, but alive. Smoke and flames rose from the APV.
“Stay down!” the young soldier yelled. “Keep quiet while I check the perimeter”. His eyes surveyed the terrain.
It was so familiar. His family had visited “The Plains of Abraham” when he was a teenager. His father told him all the history that created his country. Hell, he had even played hockey in this city not two years before. Now here he was, fighting for his life in what remained of “Old Quebec City”.
The Plains of Abraham were in front of him, the old Citadel lay in ruins behind him. It was bombed out the previous week as his unit rooted out the rebels. “Freedom Fighters” they called themselves. Heroes to many in Quebec, reviled by the Canadian Government, ignored by many in the rest of the country. “How the hell did we get into this mess?” His father’s question reverberated in the young soldier’s mind. Politicians spending too much talking about issues and not enough solving the problems. Allowing an undercurrent of discontent to grow and totally ignoring a growing anger and resentment of a society isolated by history, with feelings of absolute hatred towards an “occupier” who subverted and systematically destroyed their culture. At least that was the rhetoric of the young militants who had rallied enough support to begin a revolution.
None of that mattered. Right now he had to find a way to survive.
The sound of movement startled him. The turret of the personnel carrier slowly opened and smoke poured out. His Corporal began to climb out. “What is he doing?” thought the Private. But the Corporal was disoriented, blood streamed down his face and the prospect of burning to death drove him to ignore training.
“Get your head back into the Lynx….” The bullet beat his words to the Corporal.
The body of the man jerked violently as the whistling sound of a bullet passed over the young Private’s head. “SHIT!”. The body went limp, draped face down on the APV. Flames engulfed it.
“Where is that son of a bitch!?” The young Private’s head snapped in the opposite direction and captured a shadow moving in the distance. “How fitting, the bastard is using the Wolfe Monument as cover!”.
Training took over. Fear was no where to be found. He moved quickly and quietly as he manoeuvred into position. The enemy was out there, he just had to find him. Using the brush as cover, he approached the enemy’s position. Looking back he could see the burning APV. It seemed so far away and he had covered a lot of ground in a short time.
Just ahead was the Wolfe Monument. The young Canadian Private raised his weapon and peered through the sight. There he was, standing behind the monument, his sniper rifle still pointed at the APV. The crosshairs of the Privates weapon focused just behind the sniper’s left ear. “He has no clue I’m here or that his life is about to end” The Private squeezed the trigger and a bullet exploded from the weapon.
The young private moved cautiously towards his fallen prey. “Would there be others around here?” The sound of Canadian troops and armoured vehicles swarming the area made that unlikely. The body lay face down in a growing pool of blood. He moved to stand over it. He gasped for air as he turned the body over. “Rene! Oh Shit”. It was his defence partner. They had played together on the same Junior A hockey team that visited Quebec City just two years earlier.
The Young Canadian Private stood frozen. His shoulders drooped, the butt of his gun touched the ground. In a haze he began to walk away, his gun dragging behind him. “How the hell did we get into this mess?” October 03 I'm Going To Vote NDP!“What the…..?? Where did that come from?”
I’m working out on the cross trainer at the gym, my MP3 is shuffling through my favourite rock sounds and my thoughts are on the way my legs and lungs are feeling. Suddenly I’m struck with an epiphany “I’m going to vote NDP in the upcoming election”. “Now wait just a dog gone minute! You have never voted NDP!” In fact I’ve always seen myself as a centrist on social programs and more conservative on economics. AND I lived through the Dave Barrett NDP “experiment” in BC in the 70’s and that was a total disaster. Even the Bob Rae term in Ontario wasn’t that great from what I’ve heard. I have a business degree and have been in business all my career (oh wait, that is what has tainted some of my perspective of late) So where is this coming from? It is coming from the fact that I am so totally fed up with the Liberals and Conservatives that I had been telling myself I was not going to vote in this election. But my conscious kept repeating “If you don’t vote you don’t have a right to complain later” And I do so like to complain about politicians. Both the Liberals and Conservatives have proven that they don’t care about the average Canadian. The Liberal history is one of Political Cronyism (just look at the Senate) and arrogance (I point to both Pierre Trudeau and Jean Chretien), while the Conservative history is full of political patronage. AND both parties have had their share of corruption and scandal. What I find so humorous is that the party in power might change, but I don’t see a huge change in the lives of the average Canadian. The only thing that happens is that what the Liberals once supported, they now condemn and what the Conservatives once criticized they now implement (does anybody remember under which government our troops were committed into Afghanistan?) The Conservatives have proven to be sell outs to the corporate world and self serving. During the Mulroney years we saw more scandal and corruption than ever and I just don’t trust Harper at all. He appears to be the type who would sell us down the river for the sake of his Bay Street or Calgary Banker and Lawyer friends. I am also finding the older I get the more social conscience I’ve become. I do not trust corporations, who are raping and pillaging the economy, while padding the pockets of executives and board of directors. We are seeing an ever increasing gap between the rich and poor in Canada and more and more the middle class is being pushed to the poor end of the scale. Corporations will do anything to separate you from your money, even if that means making you feel inferior if you don’t have something, or providing easy credit when it is obvious there is not enough cash flow or discipline to pay it back. I find it so hard to believe that Mr. Harper would call himself a Christian, when it appears he has so little compassion for the working poor. A Christian is always taught to reach down and help those less fortunate. But Mr. Harper’s policies continue to support corporations who are creating an entirely new class of working poor. We are seeing more and more part-time jobs, without benefits. People need to work two or three jobs just to stay above the poverty line. Here is one of my dilemmas. I do not support an open ended welfare system. I believe there are too many lazy people who will abuse it. But we need to do something that will create jobs that offer the opportunity for people to make a decent living. Not just exist while the CEO’s of these organization take home multi-million dollar bonuses. I hope Bank Execs are listing. Another challenge I have is that I don’t know enough about the Green Party to vote for them. So I am left with Jack Layton and the NDP. What I heard about the NDP platform sounds good. Use gas tax revenue to invest public transit. Great idea! Those rich jerks who insist on driving gas guzzling SUVs should help create a system where the single mom who can’t afford a car can get to and from her minimum wage job. I need to look at the entire NDP platform in more detail. I’m not a “soft on crime” guy, but would like more effort put into the root social causes for the problems of gang violence, rather than just open up more jails. The youth justice system needs to be over hauled and the youth needs to be accountable for their actions. I would like to see the Senate abolished or at the very least made accountable to the people of Canada. Too bad for the liberal and conservative cronies who will loose their retirement home. Judges need to be held accountable if they screw-up. And let’s get rid of the Monarchy. What value does all of the pomp, circumstances and trappings of that bring to us?. Tradition be damned! If it doesn’t make economic sense then there is not sense having it. I’m going to vote NDP. I NEVER thought I would hear myself saying that. But given the alternatives and since they are not likely to form the government at least I’ll have the right to complain against the next lying self-serving Prime Minister who is elected. Finally I leave with Greg's two truths about every politician:
October 02 Two Words – Hedonism and GreedUnless you are a hermit you have heard that the economy is in teetering . Lending institutions in the United States are in trouble, the financial markets are melting down, investors are getting “nervous” (yeah right!) and the free market now needs government intervention to keep it from collapsing on the average person. With the US markets in turmoil the world markets are feeling the ripples. AND I know why!
Anyone who has taken an introductory University Economics and Psychology course will know the reasons for this melt down. It comes down to two words:
1. Hedonism - the doctrine that pleasure or happiness is the highest good. And devotion to pleasure is a way of life
2. Greed - excessive or rapacious desire, especially for wealth or possessions. (isn’t it ironic that the website I used for the definition brought up a “Future Shop” ad).
I have for many years been telling anyone who would listen, which usually meant friends during a beer induced rant, that we live in an all too consumer driven economy. People have no sense of what is realistic. Society has become far to hedonistic in its approach to living. The pursuit of pleasure meant if people wanted something, they would get it now, no matter the cost or whether they had the money to afford it. The big SUV, the big house, the fancy cloths, the shoes, the latest and greatest electronic gadgets were all purchased and usually on credit.
Society lost the concept of restraint or living within their means. “Don’t pay” events, “we’ll pay your first payment”, “No money – no problem” events allowed people to buy without consideration of having to pay for this crap. They could get what ever they wanted or felt they needed to fit into the “in crowd”. But why do we need bigger vehicles or that mansion? Does anyone REALLY need an iPhone? If yes, why?
“Greed” applies to corporations who, driven by the profit motive, have introduced a plethora of products that serve no purpose other than to make an individual feel special. And if that person couldn’t afford it, no problem! They sold the “paper” to another company who would make exorbitant profits off the usury interest levels they charge the idiots who felt they needed something bigger, better or best.
This of course drove demand, which created jobs, which created “wealth”, which created the desire to have more, better, bigger and the cycle continued.
As long as consumers could afford to make the interest payments then all was well. But if there was a hick-up in the system and they got behind, then watch out.
Corporations will fall back on the axiom that they never held a gun to anyone’s head to make them buy. But that is a cop out. Corporations have spent gobs of money on understanding what are the “triggers” that make people buy. They create ads that make people feel they need an iPhone to be cool, or without the designer cloths they are worthless. They do database compiling along with psychographic profiling to figure out exactly how to “increase their share of the consumer’s wallet”. AND then spend billions on advertising to convince people that they need what it being sold.
And then there are the lending institutions that allowed consumers to borrow far beyond what they could afford to pay back. These corporations seriously need to look at their motives. Bank and finance executives for years have taken obscene bonuses, while the average person was collapsing under a growing crush of credit.
Did these institution realize what they were doing to the common person? If you answer no, then you are more naive than I ever give you credit for.
Psychology 101 – people will pursue happiness (hedonism)
Economics 101 – people will seek to maximize their return on investment (greed).
And remember, “there is a sucker born every minute” and two who are willing to sell to them….
In simplest terms the current economic crisis was been created by people’s desire to have more then they can afford and corporation’s willingness to sell, or lend money, to people who cannot afford what they are buying.
Once those who cannot afford to buy, cannot afford to pay, those who lend are left with huge problems. They are holding the paper on a bunch of “stuff” that no one else can afford to buy. So they tighten up on the lending.
When the supply of money tightens up, then the hedonistic society cannot get the money to buy the “stuff, they really don’t need. AND they may “turn back” that which they can not pay for.
The supply of “stuff” (houses, fancy cars, electronic, etc) increases and the value of those goods decreases, manufactures stop producing “stuff” because the market (of idiots willing to buy) has dried up.
The domino effect takes over and the system collapses on itself. All because of hedonism and greed.
Unfortunately my cynical self does not see a solution in the future. The memory of society is very short and soon those hedonistic people (the suckers) will be buying again and the cycle will start all over again.
Oh, and in this situation there are also the maggots who will seek to profit from the collapse. The auction houses, the repossession companies, the CEOs of major lending institutions who will get billions in government handouts to protect those obscene bonuses they paid themselves.
Take it from a cynical realist – we are in trouble and we only have ourselves to blame for our troubles. Every one of us is either a consumer or someone trying to sell something. Are you spending beyond your means? Is what you are selling truly filling a consumer’s wants and needs, without artificially making them feel inferior if they don’t have it? May 19 A Question of FaithFor nearly forty years of my life I didn’t believe in much. As long as I can remember I have been cynical about life, institutions and definitely religion. I can’t say I ever had a “belief” or system of faith. When I was going through college and university I would describe myself as an “existentialist” or one who embraces “diverse doctrines but centering on analysis of individual existence in an unfathomable universe and the plight of the individual who must assume ultimate responsibility for acts of free will without any certain knowledge of what is right or wrong or good or bad.” (www.merriam-webster.com)
Later I would have described myself as “agnostic” – “a person who holds the view that any ultimate reality (as God) is unknown and probably unknowable; broadly : one who is not committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of God or a god” (www.merriam-webster.com)
In my teens I tried to read the bible, but found it difficult. I always believed in most of the social values that Christianity expressed. The loving, caring, respecting of others, being honest and forthright have always been important to me.
But I never believed in a TRUTH. I never committed to anything.
Then just before I turned 40 I began to seek and ask question in earnest. My first wife had gone to church for years and I made sure my daughters were exposed to the Christian values I believed in. It was through my wife’s involvement in a church that I began attending and met a fantastic man who became a great friend, mentor and teacher. Pastor Gord had an enormous impact on my life. He listened carefully to my questions. If he couldn’t answer them right way he sought out the answers. And he explained Christianity in a way that made sense. He got me to read a book called “The Case For Christ” by Lee Strobel.
Things were becoming clear, it felt comfortable and eventually if felt right to accept Jesus as my personal saviour. I believe it was during my 40th year that I was baptized.
Being a Christian was great. I met some of the best, most genuine people I have ever known.
Me, as a person, didn’t change that much mostly because I didn’t have any great skeletons in my closets to clean up. The major change in my life was that I began attending church and studying the bible with fellow Christians.
And it was those relationship with friends, fellow Christians and the church that gave me the support and strength to get through was going to be a very tumultuous six years of my life. In 2000, I was downsized from TELUS and that led a series of moves that saw me drag my family across the country; there were extended periods of unemployment; significant moments of depression and suicidal thoughts; and ultimately the break up of my marriage. Through all of that turmoil I was supported, comforted and helped by my beliefs, my faith and the Christians who surrounded me. I used to joke that God must of known what was coming in my life and that is why he called me to Christianity when he did.
But there has always been this underlying questioning. Some of the bible stories seem improbable. You could only accept them as fact if you had absolute and unquestioning faith. But my cynicism continues to haunt me and I always question what I see or hear. Even the Lee Strobel book left me with questions, because his arguments and support of the bible as historic events were based on discussions with biblical scholars, who had a definite perspective and reason for wanting the bible to be historic. No where did Strobel engage non Christian anthropologists, archaeologists or historians to gain support for his theories or hypothesis.
I also had trouble with some of the doctrines of the church. I believe in a woman’s right to choose an abortion (although find the use of it as birth control repulsive) and I believe in assisted suicide when someone’s quality of life is not longer acceptable to them. So, how could I accept some parts of the Christian ways and not others. After all, the doctrine does present an absolute, black or white argument. And as someone who lives in the grey areas of life, I struggled with that.
Now I have read a book that throws my entire belief and faith system into doubt. It has taken me back 10 years.
“The Pagan Christ” by Tom Harpur presents a very interesting and compelling argument that much of Christianity is drawn from Egyptian lore and tales. According to Harpur’s sources, the Bible stories were written as allegories, entirely with symbolism drawn from Egyptian mythology about their gods. None of it, including the life of Jesus is actual history.
According to Harpur, early church founders literalized the Bible and presented it as history because the uneducated masses could not comprehend the symbolism of the stories and needed to believe it was absolute history in order to grow the Christian church. Even more audacious is the claim that the Christian Church in 200 and 300 AD, propagated a systematic campaign to wipe out all references to the Egyptian mythology and their by affirming their history as real. There are claims of mass book burnings where entire collection of ancient writings were wiped out by early church zealots. The theory is very Orwellian; if you control the literature of today, you can re-write history and dictate the beliefs of the masses going forward.
Now several Christian Apologist I have read out right dismiss Harpur as a crank and claim that his three main sources are not credible or authorities on the issues at all. But aside from the personal shots they take at the authors and scholars, there is some plausibility to the counter claims made.
I am not going to be able to read or understand the source documents for all of this. And God knows I’m not intellectual enough to wade through the many volumes written by scholars on all manner of topics related to this. So I am left to rely on the interpretations of those more intelligent than me. But who should I believe? I guess it comes down to a matter of faith and that’s how I’ve maintained my perspective for the last 10 years. I needed something to believe in and to hang on to. I always said “If I’m wrong, the worst is that I’ve lived my life as good person, with strong morale values. If I’m right I can look forward to an eternity in heaven with God”.
But as a cynic, who holds little faith in the institutions of mankind (whether it be political, economic, religious or educational), this creates a huge challenge and I am finding it harder and harder to maintain my faith.
The more I learn about the history of Christianity the more I realize that mankind has distorted it, perverted it and used it to keep the masses under control or justify some of the most horrific human atrocities ever recorded.
The bible was put together by conferences of MEN, as the church was forming. It has been translated by MEN so many times that the original meanings of the words have been lost and skewed. And it has been interpreted so many different ways that it can justify or crucify the actions of a man.
So I struggle. My greatest fear is that I will loose the wonderful friendships I’ve made with Christians, because I am questioning the doctrine and the Christian version of truth. But through all of this, I will remain true to myself. Deep down I am the same person I was before I turned 40, while I was in my 40’s and now as I turn 50.
Whether I call myself a Christian or not, should not define me. My values, the way I treat others, the legacy I leave my children and the planet should be what defines me.
And for now, my search continues…………….. March 21 Now that was a nice complimentI received one of those male ego building compliments this week and in a act of blatant self promotion I am going to share it! This was particularly nice to get as it came after I had written my previous blog about feeling old.
Just getting back from my first outdoor 5 km run of the season (and it felt great), I headed to the area of the gym where I do my cool down stretching. That is very important to do so your muscles don’t cramp up and you can actually walk away from the event.
I set my mat down right beside a lady I know from work who was doing AB exercises. As I slowly moved my weary body on to the mat, I made a smart aleck comment like “I’m getting too old for this” to which the lady replied “yeah and imagine if you were as old as me.”
I was dumbfounded by this comment, because I didn’t think she was anywhere near as old as me.
I chuckled as I said to her, “I don’t think so K…, I turn 50 in September, so I don’t think you are older than me.”
The look on her face was of total astonishment and wonder. She seemed to take a second look and gulp some air. Her next comment was wonderful; “yeah I guess you’re right, I’m only 43. I would never have taken you for that old”.
Yes, that made me feel real good. Almost 50, able to run 5 KM and still have people think I’m in my late 30’s or early 40’s. Not bad for an old guy!
I hope you have a great long weekend. March 15 Aging is interestingAging is an interesting phenomena. Yes, that is the best way I can describe it.
In six months I turn 50. WHAT? HOW MUCH? When did that happen?
In my mind if still feel like the young kid coming out of university, who didn’t have clue what he wanted to do with his life. I have memories that are so vivid they seem like they happened yesterday of events that are now 20 or 30 years old. In many situations I’m dealing with people who are too young enough to remember the death of John Lennon, let alone remember the night the Beatles played “The Ed Sullivan” show”.
But physically I am beginning to understand the concept of aging. I am in better shape now than I have been those 20 or 30 years I mentioned above, but the creaks and pains of old age are catching up.
My lower back gets stiff and sore at time. The physiotherapist tells me it is an aging thing.
My bi-focal glasses don’t seem to focus as well as they use to. Or is it the font on the new computers is getting smaller ;).
And now I’m beginning to have pain in my hand knuckles that I worry it is the early stages of arthritis. I was just doing my laundry and ironing and it was tough to hold the detergent bottle while pouring from it and gripping the iron caused discomfort.
So despite the fact I can run 5 KM in under 30 minutes, or bench press 150 lbs, my body is telling me, in no uncertain terms that I am getting old! And I am not happy about that.
But I shouldn’t complain. I am very healthy, in good shape and have better strength and stamina than many men 1/2 my age. I should be good for at least another 25 years and that’s a good thing, cause that is what I promised Stacey when she agreed to marry me!
I’ve heard it said that youth is wasted on the young! How true. With age comes wisdom and a perspective that the young just don’t get. Now that I understand things better I could have lots of fun, but my body just won’t let me enjoy myself sometimes.
Actually my biggest fear about turning 50 is the party I may have to participate in. My wife’s family is wonderful and I love them dearly, but they are practical jokers extraordinary, and I can just imagine the wonderful things they will have for me on that day. But Stacey’s dad has to be careful – he turns 50 after me and so I have a chance to get back at him ;)! January 22 Seven Hours From Toronto"Seven Hours From Toronto" is not the title of a bad movie or Westerner’s greatest fear. No that is how long it took Stacey and I to drive from Toronto to North Bay on Sunday.
The trip is usually a 3.5 hour drive………
Winter weather is so fickle. It can change quickly and when you are travelling the suicide highways that are the 400 series in Ontario, things can get either very scary or very boring!
During this trip we experienced both! But at least we were lucky and didn’t ended up in the bumper car event that took place on a 20 KM stretch of the highway. For details on this please see: http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_18751.aspx or http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_18761.aspx
Stacey and I left Brampton at about 2:15PM on Sunday. The skies were relatively clear and the temperature was about -4C (although the blowing wind made it feel a lot colder). Since we didn’t want to traverse the 401 (which is an insane highway at the best of times), we headed directly north towards Highway 9, where we could head east and pick up Highway 400 just south of Cookstown.
During our drive up the skies were really strange looking. I haven’t seen cloud formations like that before. We drove through lots of blowing snow, but very little falling snow. The highways ranged from compact snow to icy. We passed on roll-over traffic accident, but generally were able to travel at the posted speed limit.
We got to the Highway 400 on ramp at about 3:15 PM and was greeted by an OPP cruiser with its cherries flashing and a road crew. The freeway was closed and they were rerouting traffic.
Our option was to back track about 5km to Highway 27 and try to go around the area.
Since I usually listen to satellite radio we hadn’t heard anything on the radio about the road closure. AND since most FM stations don’t have live DJs on Sundays, it probably won’t have mattered, because we would not have heard the news anyways.
I was able to pick up 1010AM New/ Talk Radio out of Toronto and heard that a snow squall blew through the area bringing with it instant white out conditions. The result, several major traffic pile up with upwards of 100 cars involved. And the highway was closed from Highway 9 to Route 89 (Cookstown). BTW – the guy on 1010 Radio was TERRIBLE. His name was Spider Jones and not only was he a blowhard (which is needed for Talk Radio), but he couldn’t put two thoughts together to create a coherent sentence. Most painful to listen to.
The distance from the Highway 9 on ramp to Route 89 (Cookstown Outlet Mall) is 20 KM. The side route we had to take was about 31 Km to cover the same distance. This took us almost 3 hours to travel!
There was so much traffic (it was bumper to bumper in both directions for the entire 31 KM distance) and the roads were so slippery that all we could do was stop or crawl! Unfortunately many of the tractor-trailer units on the highway couldn’t get up the small hills on the side route because of the icy conditions. So that added to the traffic woes.
We got to the Cookstown mall just before 6PM! We stopped for a quick bite to eat and headed North on Highway 400. At that point we got stuck behind a group of highway snowploughs and sanders which slowed traffic to around 60 kmph. The way they plough the highways is to stagger three trucks across the entire road and have a fourth dropping salt. There is no way to get around them, so traffic just backs up. We ended up following them up the highway for at least 50 km.
Once the ploughs get out of the way the traffic treats it like the start of the Daytona 500! Despite the road conditons which were poor to terrible, many drivers seemed intent on travelling like it was sunny summer afternoon. I was quite content to travel at about 80 kmph and that seemed excessive at times, given the blowing and falling snow which created very poor road conditions. With compact icy sections and snow on the road it was impossible to see the centre line or shoulders.
At one point Stacey and I even talked about pulling off and taking a motel for the evening. It seemed safer than trying to deal with the wackos and the weather.
Fortunately once we got north of Gravenhurst the cold temps kicked in, the skies cleared, the snow stopped falling and the roads cleared up entirely. It was wild to watch the temperature drop in a few minutes from -14C to -25C on the thermometer in the VUE. By the time we got to North Bay it was a wonderful -31C. Oh JOY!
We pulled into our driveway at about 9:15 PM. I was very tired, but didn’t feel too bad. One advantage of age is that I’ve been through this several times and don’t stress about it anymore. Take my time, plug along and make it safe is the best approach to take. The objective is to make it your destination - it is not about how fast you get to your destination.
But it will be well into the spring before I travel back to Toronto. I don’t want to temp fate with the weather and road conditions. Sure glad we are flying out of North Bay when we go to Jamaica in 12 Days! January 11 Something to talk aboutOne good thing about being Canadian is that you ALWAYS have the weather or hockey to talk about. So how about them Leafs – you think they will ever make the playoffs again? (See I stopped asking about the Cup years ago!).
In the case of weather we love to either a) brag about how terrible our weather is (implying we are hardy souls who can handle anything – well except for those wimps in Vancouver, but that is for another blog); or complain about how terrible our weather is (except for those wimps in Victoria, but that is for another blog).
I’m not sure if I am about to brag or complain about our recent weather, but WOW has it been strange.
I live in what is called “Northern Ontario”. However, if you look at map you will see that there is a heck of lot of geography north of North Bay. And we are only a 3.5 hour car ride from Toronto, so it is not really north. That said, we still get our share of snow and this year we got dumped on pretty good before Christmas.
It has also been the standard cold and miserable, making my looking forward to my Jamaican holiday / wedding / honeymoon all the more appealing. BUT, then came this week. What happened! I have never scene weather like this before.
Let’s start with January 3, my first day back to work in the new year. I awoke to temperatures of – 25C! By the end of the work day it had climbed to about -7C and it kept climbing from there. Then on Monday, January 7 I witnessed something I have never seen before –a lightning storm in January.
Lighting storms are not uncommon, but not in January. And this was a good one! We had some flashes of light that lit up the sky and the boomers followed real quick and vibrated the house. A house not too far from where I live was hit by lightning and burnt to the ground that night. And it began to rain! DID IT EVER RAIN! Came down in buckets. The people of Vancouver can appreciate that in January. The people of North Bay wonder what is going on.
The next day we broke some very old weather records. The previous January 8 high temperature for North Bay was recorded as about 2.5C. On January 8, 2008 we hit 8.2C. Normal precipitation in a 24 hour period is about 2.5 mm; we got something like 22 mm. And it was foggy and the wind was howling.
Now on Friday, January 11, 2008, there are large patches of grass showing up on my front lawn, the large piles of snow from shovelling have all but disappeared and our temps are hovering around the 0C mark. W e got snow last night, ice pellets this morning and now it is raining. It just can’t seem to make up it mind what it wants to do.
Jamaica, which has temperatures this week between 24 and 27C with overnight lows of 23 or 24C is REALLY LOOKING APPEALING TO ME. February 4 can’t come quick enough.
Like I said, at least it gives us something to talk about!
Have a great and safe weekend. January 08 Reflections from 2007I stole this from a FaceBook friend. Kinda of interesting, insightful and fun to do.
Feel free to steal and post your own.
1) Where did you begin 2007? - I don’t honestly remember. It couldn’t have been very memorable.
2) What was your status by Valentine's Day? - Single
3) Were you working? - Yes
4) Did you get any piercings or tattoos? - Are you kidding? No way!
5) Did you have to go to the hospital? - Yes - but only for tests and to be with a friend in emergency ward.
6) Did you have any encounters with the police? - Yes – but I was only the passenger when my daughter got her first speeding ticket.
7) Where did you go on holiday? - Hawaii in February with my daughters.
8) What did you purchase that was over $1000? - Saturn VUE, engagement and wedding ring
9) Did you know anybody who got married? - Nope, but I did attend a wedding with Stacey. I just didn't know the couple before the event.
10) Did you know anybody who passed away? - No, but my mom sure gave us a scare late in the year!
11) Did you move anywhere? - No
12) What concerts/shows did you go to? - None
13) Are you registered to vote? - Yes
15) Where do you live now? - Callander
16) Describe your birthday? - Quiet dinner with my parents, my fiancé and her parents
17) What's one thing you thought you'd never do but did in 2007? - Jumped out of an airplane – awesome!
18) What has been your favorite moment? - Tthis has been a wonderful year, with many, many special moments. A few of the highlights included;
19) What lesson did you learn? - If you are patient and be yourself, you can find your soul mate.
20) Any new additions to your family? - Oh yeah – fiancé and her daughter.
21) What was your best month? - Do I have to pick only one?
22) What music will you remember 2007 by? - “So Far” – by Kelly Jay
23) Made new friends? - Many, especially with Stacey's wonderful family.
24) New best friend? - Stacey
25) Favorite Night out? - There was a hot tub party in Cambridge….but that is all I will say.
26) What do you expect in 2008? - Getting married in February and after that I expect a "happy ever after" year. January 07 Four Weeks Away
In four weeks Stacey and I will board a plane at the horrible time of 6AM and begin our journey to Montego Bay, Jamaica.
So what you say? Many people take mid-winter vacations to warm climates. I have been lucky enough to enjoy trips to Hawaii in February in 2006 and 2007.
But this one is different. This is not just a holiday. It is more than an adventure. It is the start of a new life for Stacey and me. We are going to Jamaica to get married!
I am not one who shows his emotions openly, so it may not look like I am very excited. I call it the duck syndrome; above the water I’m calm, cool and collected, while under the surface I’m paddling like mad to stay afloat (or in my case contain my excitement).
I am even finding it hard to find the write words to express my excitement and anticipation.
What really appeals to me is that we are not doing the traditional wedding ceremony. I have written before on how I find the wedding ceremony to be too tied in tradition, expectation, pomp and circumstance, expense and general crap. So to be “running away” to a tropical paradise; to be getting married barefoot on a beach, in a white linen outfit is fabulous.
And almost without exception I have not spoken to anyone who says “What are you nuts?! You should be doing the big family wedding!” Everyone says “Yeah that is the way to go!” Even today, someone said to me “If I could go back and do my wedding over again, I would do exactly what you are doing!”
When it comes time for my daughters to get married, I am going to strongly suggest they do exactly this – run away, treat yourself, get married because you love the person, not to be put on display, to appease extended family or get caught up in the emotion of the “Wedding Industry”.
I was looking at the website for the resort Stacey and I will be staying at again last night and am getting even more excited. I just hope my expectations are not getting too high for what this trip will be.
BUT above all else, putting aside the trip, the fun of running away, what I am really excited about and looking forward to is marrying Stacey. In her I have found my soul mate. Our chemistry is dynamic; our personalities are similar; our intellect is well matched, our likes and dislikes close and together we have wonderful plans, hopes and expectations for our future together.
Now if we can both contain ourselves and managed the excitement as we wait out the next four weeks. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.
Challenges still to be faced:
>> Arrival of my outfit from the US Company we ordered it from.
>> Arrival of Stacey’s wedding ring, which is being made, but we haven’t heard how it is coming.
>> Completion of Stacey’s wedding dress, which she is making with a seamstress friend of hers.
I’ll keep you posted on things as the date draws closer. January 04 More on the Scum that is Columbia HouseWay back in October of 2005 I printed a rant against Columbia House Music Club. My underlying message NEVER – NEVER get involved in Columbia House. They are crooked, and you won’t get the advertised savings after you fulfill their commitment. If you are interested you can see that posting at:
A week ago, I got a message through Windows Spaces from someone named Taeko. They must have been doing a search on Columbia House because they were being screwed over also. Here is the text of the message I received:
“can you please help me with nasty columbia house scum? I have purchased the 5 DVDs each for 49 cents once. but I NEVER became a member and I left it as it is after I paid off whatever the cost it was for 5 DVDs. Two months later they sent me a DVD that I never purchased and they charged my visa for it about 37.21. the thing is right after I received the unwanted DVD, I checked my credit card history and found out that they charged me once before the DVD I received. Funny thing is that I never receieved anything for the first charge of 37.21. Second fee I received Harry Potter director's choice DVD and also Invoice of another 37.21. So I took an action calling them but never picked up my call. It is automated voice service telling me to call these few numbers that were also automated voice service. I was so pissed off I sent e-mails saying I need explainations. I never became or signed for a membership, but somehow I was the one. and I have no idea what was the comittment when I purchased 5 DVDs each for 49 cents. Also I did not record my user nameor password that I cannot see my status or anything. I am really worried that it might continue and I at least want to see the term of comittment or something like that. I really do not know when or how I became a member. Can you help me?”
I tried to message Taeko back, but their profile doesn’t allow that type of communication. So I am going to post my thoughts below, in hopes they (or others) might read it, learn from it and NEVER – NEVER get involved with Columbia House.
My response to Taeko:
“The lesson to take away from this is NEVER give your credit card to any company where they can charge for services without your signature. I have only done this for two companies, both of which I know and trust and where the charge is the same each month.
Unfortunately Columbia House uses a "negative option" marketing practice, which means unless you say no, they send and bill you. When I dealt with Columbia House I always made sure they had to bill me and I would have to pay them.
The first thing you can do is contact your credit card company and tell them to NOT accept any charges to your card from Columbia House. If nothing else that will get Columbia House's Attention, especially if they have sent you product and are looking for payment.
Second - call the 1-800 customer service number for Columbia House. There should be one on the statements or shipping receipts you got. If it sounds totally automated, try press the "0" button. Most IVR (Interactive Voice Response) systems will route you to a live operator. Unless the company is truly scummy and doesn’t want you to talk to an agent – or they are Bell Canada and just want to make it really difficult to contact them.
Third, if you get a live operator tell them in no uncertain terms that you do not want their service and you WILL NOT accept anything more from them. Since I do not know the details of the offer you signed up for, you may be trapped because of accepting the 5 DVDs for 49 cents. It has been a long time since I dealt with Columbia house, but usually these offers are a set up for a minimum commitment. Be insistent that you don't want service and be willing to get belligerent with them. You will have to be very tough and firm to get out of this. I do not believe they will make it easy for you, but the louder and harder you scream the less likely they are to fight. Most companies don’t want to spend money on vigorous complainers, since there are many more suckers out there to be bilked of their money.
Fourth, if you don't get a live body, then send emails, regular mail and keep sending and keeping copies for your records. Start building a paper trail that shows you made every effort to stop the shipments and cancel the agreement. This will be important if you are successful in stopping payment and Columbia House tries to play nasty with your credit rating (and I wouldn’t put it past them).
And finally, if you get any more packages from Columbia House do not open them, simply mark return to sender and put them immediately back into the mail. Their policy use to be to accept these back and not charge you. I know because I missed refusing a few monthly mailings, and had to return the stuff I didn't stop. There was never a problem (but again, they didn't have my credit card info.). Your challenge might be that since I went on my rant, they have started trying to charge shipping for orders received. Pretty bad customer service – ship something I didn’t ask for and then charge me shipping if I try to return it. See why I say don’t deal with this company.
Good luck with this. These guys make their money from being hard to deal with and tricking the consumer. You will have to be hard nosed and ruthless in order to beat this scum of the earth company. January 03 A New Year - Back At ItI have been so lazy with my blogging. I’m not sure why. I really enjoy writing and trying to entertain people with a quirky look at the world and my life.
However, lately I have been having a terrible time getting motivated to write. I think of an interesting topic and simply do not make the time to write about it.
Makes me wonder if it is true that true creativity only comes from a place of pain. When I was depressed, sad or unhappy I could write lots. I’m not any more, and my writing has suffered.
I’m not complaining, since I certainly do not want to go back to what (or where) I was. I am happier now than I have been in many years. It’s not perfect (I didn’t win the Lotto 649, so……), but it is good, nay great!
Speaking of being happy; (How’s that for a segue!) one of the reasons for my happiness is my pending wedding. That is coming quick. Stacey and I are just 31 days from flying to Jamaica and 35 days from our barefoot beach wedding.
I ordered my wedding suit on line yesterday – cost all of $125 (shipping included)! YES! I like that price. Stacey was laughing that the material for her dress (still to be made), will cost more than that. It is good to be a guy! My “suit” is really just a shirt and pants. White linen shirt and pants.
Unfortunately I won't look like the models (sorry honey!
But this is soooooooooooooooo cool! No monkey suit, no tie, heck no shoes. I get to wear something relaxing where I can walk barefoot on the beach and not worry if I get it wet.
I’m excited for this trip. It will be a blast. Not only will I get to spend a week at a luxourious all inclusive resort in Jamaica, but I get to marry a wonderful and lovely lady.
But before then, I have to get back to the gym and drop the pounds I gained over the holidays. All of the good habits I have worked on in the last two years, went out the window and I’m paying for it now. I don’t think it will take much to drop back, I’m just frustrated at my lack of will power and letting myself be such a glutton!
Stacey and I picked up my wedding ring yesterday, which is helping add to the excitement and anticipation for the trip. I wanted to take a picture of it and post it here, but was told I could not do that until I was wearing it and that WOULD NOT happen until we are married (I’m paraphrasing).
I’m very happy with the ring. It is not your standard band of gold. I will post some pics as soon as I get back from Jamaica. I just hope we have Stacey's ring for the wedding. We are still waiting for Stacey’s ring to be delivered. It’s been on order for almost two months and we are only one month away from leaving. They are making it so I hope this doesn’t cause any problems.
That is it for today – I don’t want to strain myself on my first time out. Kinda like my run today – only did 10 minutes, since it has been awhile since I was on the treadmill (other than life).
But look for more writing in the near future. My new years resolution is to write more, my goal is to write at least one blog entry per week. My plan and hope is to write more often, but I don’t want to build my own expectation and then feel bad if I fail. Once per week should be very doable.
Take care and enjoy your day
31 Days to Jamaica 35 Days to Wedding in Jamaica! November 03 A sad dayThis day comes every year, but it never gets easier. I know its coming, the weather changes, the air gets cold, the leaves change and fall off their trees and eventually I have to put the motorcycle away!
Boo Hoo!
I do not like this day! But living in Canada we know it is coming. If I still lived in Edmonton it would come a lot earlier. If I lived in Vancouver and could stand the rain I might be able to avoid it. But I live in North Bay, so it does eventually come.
Truth be told it was a flippin lovely day out today. Too nice to put the bike away! It was about 10 Celsius when I road the bike to my future in-laws place. Actually, even as I road the bike up to their place I found the wind to have a real bite to it. There is little or no direct heat coming off the sun and the wind has a chill to it.
In recent years I’ve had to put my bike in my shed, which is at the back of my yard and real pain in the ass to get to. Putting the bike in their was a chore.
This year I was able to clear out a spot in a garage and put the bike there. I’ve even left the battery in, so if it does get really nice one weekend, I can still sneak out with the bike. COOL!
Not like that is likely to happen, but it is a nice dream.
BTW – thanks to Lee (my future mother-in-law) who helped me push the bike into place. So now it snoozes until next year when Stacey and I can begin in earnest our enjoyment of the open road and I can turn her into a real biker babe!
For now I live for February, when I run away to Jamaica with my love and get married! In the warmth and humidity that is the Caribbean! 92 days until we fly, 95 until I can “officially” call Stacey my wife and I can’t wait. I also can’t wait until I can bring my motorcycle out of hibernation next spring.
But what is that old saying “good things comes to those who wait!”. October 31 Life is full of twists and turnsI’m sitting at my desk in utter confusion!
I’ve just read the blog of friend from Saint John and was deeply sadden and shocked to read that her and her long time boyfriend have split up. My heart broke for both of them. I met them through the Saint John Theatre Company and really enjoyed their company, whether we were working on a play or hanging out. They are great young people and always found them so into each other. I would have never guessed this would have happened.
As my mind raced to process this information I began to think about life and how there are so many strange twists and turns in it. While one suffers, others rejoice.
Today I am deeply sadden by news – Yesterday I was thrilled to read that another friend from my Saint John drama days has just entered a relationship. I know both of the people, worked with them in dramas and am very happy for them, but honestly would never have seen it coming.
While all this is going on a fellow I work with is trying to deal with the news that his young niece was hit by a truck outside of her school on Monday. His 10 year old niece is in the hospital with minor injuries, but her friend was killed. They were both on the sidewalk, just outside of their school! The one who died was on the curb side of the sidewalk. The driver who hit them had just picked up his child from the school and depending on the version you believe, “was suffering a coughing fit” or as one eye witness reported “was leaning over reaching for something in the truck”. Either way, he must have been speeding in the school zone.
Last week the production I am acting in was sent into turmoil when the lead actress had to pull out because her father was very sick and she had to get to Texas to be with him. Before she could get down there, he died. Poor thing. Not being able to say good-bye may haunt her for a long time. The production has recovered, the part re-cast and we are back on track to go on stage in two weeks.
I was talking with my neighbour on Sunday. He is a proud new papa and is just getting use to the dramatic lifestyle changes children bring. But you can see the happiness and joy in his face.
As one ends, another begins….Whether in love, life, or careers the circle keeps moving. Yeah I know, that is terribly “cliché-ish”, but is it ever true. Tragedy, sorrow, heart break, joy, excitement, anticipation. We experience all of them. We just never know what order or when it will happen.
Lisa, Anthony, Yanik, Jenn – my heart is with you folks and know that what hurts now will pass. Bright skies will be on the horizon for all of you.
Andrea, Keith, Rob, Lucie – cherish the moment, live for the moment, work hard to hang on to the moment, but know that in a breath it can change.
10:39 Update - AMAZING! I just found out (through facebook) that another couple I knew through church in Quispamsis is expecting their second child. Yeah, life is defintely full of twists and turns. October 22 I guess I can't dance!That really hurt the ego! Stacey and I went to a Latin Dance party Saturday evening. The event was hosted by a couple who teach dance. Stacey has been taking Belly Dancing lessons from the lady for about five weeks and is really enjoying it.
When Stacey suggested we go I thought why not? I figured it would be a chance to try some steps and maybe even pick up a few pointers. Unfortunately I found the experience to be very frustrating, intimidating and a real hit to my self perception.
Most people attending the party were students from various classes and were at varying levels of progress. Some couples really looked in sync, while others were still counting in their head. And then there was me….
A couple of confessions for you. I have always felt I have pretty good rhythm, but I have NEVER learned to dance as a couple. So while I can gyrate on the floor and generally make a fool of myself, I have no clue how to move with someone, or what steps make up even the most basic dance move. Winning a hip shaking contest on a Bahaman Booze Cruise does not make me a dancer!
I spent much of the evening watching the feet of people trying to figure out the moves they were doing. That was a bust cause I couldn’t figure anything out.
Those that could dance made it look easy, so with a sense of shyness and trepidation I took to the dance floor to try my hand at the CHA CHA CHA. What a bust! As soon as tried the dance moves and began thinking about what I was doing I lost what little rhythm I actually have. I could not figure out how to move from one foot to the other in even the simplest of steps. Add to the mix that I had to worry about not stepping on Stacey’s toes, or make a complete fool of myself and I quickly became so self-conscious of what I was doing that everything went bad. My system just wanted to shut down.
I had several revelations that really hurt that night. First I don’t have the “natural” rhythm I thought I had. My fooling around the house dancing as I clean does make me a dancer. I am just another “white guy” without rhythm.
The next revelation was that dancing is not as easy as it looks. When you watch people who know what they are doing it really made me think “Oh yeah, I can do that”. Not so fast Charlie Brown! That is a lot harder than it looks and it will take a lot of hard work to get there. It does give me an entire new appreciation for the “Dancing With The Stars” participants.
I felt bad for Stacey. She has danced for much of her life and I really wanted to be on the floor, but I was so frustrated, mad at myself and intimated that I just didn’t want to be on the dance floor.
I am not writing dancing off entirely. The plan is to take some dance lessons and I am looking forward to that. In that closed environment I can concentrate on learning the steps and then fit it into the rhythm of the music.
One day I will take Stacey dancing and we will not sit down all night. Of that I promise her. October 16 Changing PlansStacey and I have decided to change our wedding plans. Rather than having the big family wedding in August of next year we are running away to have a fantasy wedding at a luxurious all inclusive resort in Jamaica in February.
As we were working on the wedding plans we were finding things were becoming more complicated, more stressful and a lot more expensive than we originally thought. It got to the point where Stacey said to me “I’m not even looking forward to my own wedding, let’s elope!”
That was said with a slight “tongue in cheek” attitude, but it was a great idea and one I had quietly thought for some time.
My response to Stacey…”Sweetheart, you won’t get any argument from me! Let’s do it!”
For me it is the end goal of being married to a wonderful and beautiful lady who will become my partner in life, that I am focused on. The fact that Stacey has never been to a tropical location would make this even more special. AND the resort we chose is very luxurious and we have booked a “Twilight Wedding Package” which will pamper us and ensure that our wedding is very special and memorable. So we get to have a mid-winter vacation / wedding / honeymoon all tied up into one fabulous package! Looking at the pictures from the resort it looks like our wedding will be a barefoot beach affair in a lovely location - awesome!
The idea of running away to a tropical location for a wedding resonated with me. I am not big on formalities or ceremonies. Weddings, funerals, graduation ceremonies, grand openings all have little appeal to me. I do not understand the need humans have for rituals like all the pomp and circumstance around the opening of parliament. So the idea of not having to go through the wedding day was very appealing to me. I would have gladly done it in order to become Stacey’s husband. But honestly, I am very excited by the plans we now have for our tropical wedding.
I was also struggling with inviting my friends and family to the wedding. ALL of these people would have to travel from either New Brunswick or out west to attend and I could not justify the expense they would have to spend to attend a ceremony where I would not be able to spend much time with them. However, I didn’t want to not invite them, because I feared that would send a message that I didn’t value their friendship or attendance. But I also didn’t want to invite them and set up an expectation that they needed to attend my wedding and spend the money. I felt I was in a “Catch 22”. AND every time I tried to explain this to people it got confused and convoluted and despite what I said, some people interpreted it as “You don’t want me at your wedding”, which was not the intent of my angst.
So we are not formally inviting anyone to the Jamaican wedding. However, if anyone needs a mid-winter vacation and wants to join us, then you are more than welcome to come. Email me if you want details on when and where we are going. Be warned though – we will not be entertaining people and you may be on your own for some of the vacation.
Weddings are wonderful. Having said that, they also come with far too much baggage, expectations, formality, stress and expense. The wedding is suppose to be a happy day for the bride and groom, but it more often seems to be such an overwhelming time that they can’t enjoy it.
It may be interpreted as selfish, but the idea of running away and having a wedding just for Stacey and I is FANTASTIC. There maybe disappointment for some that there won't be formal wedding to attend. I hope those disappointments can be put aside and everyone will be really happy for Stacey and myself.
We are planning on having a big BBQ celebration next summer, where Stacey and I can host and celebrate our marriage with our friends and family in a relaxed, comfortable and non-stressed environment. More details on that will be forthcoming.
For now, please be happy for Stacey and me. We are really excited and happy with the change in plans. |
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