| Greg's profileGreg's Corner of No Wher...PhotosBlogLists |  Tools  Help |
|
|
May 19 A Question of FaithFor nearly forty years of my life I didn’t believe in much. As long as I can remember I have been cynical about life, institutions and definitely religion. I can’t say I ever had a “belief” or system of faith. When I was going through college and university I would describe myself as an “existentialist” or one who embraces “diverse doctrines but centering on analysis of individual existence in an unfathomable universe and the plight of the individual who must assume ultimate responsibility for acts of free will without any certain knowledge of what is right or wrong or good or bad.” (www.merriam-webster.com)
Later I would have described myself as “agnostic” – “a person who holds the view that any ultimate reality (as God) is unknown and probably unknowable; broadly : one who is not committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of God or a god” (www.merriam-webster.com)
In my teens I tried to read the bible, but found it difficult. I always believed in most of the social values that Christianity expressed. The loving, caring, respecting of others, being honest and forthright have always been important to me.
But I never believed in a TRUTH. I never committed to anything.
Then just before I turned 40 I began to seek and ask question in earnest. My first wife had gone to church for years and I made sure my daughters were exposed to the Christian values I believed in. It was through my wife’s involvement in a church that I began attending and met a fantastic man who became a great friend, mentor and teacher. Pastor Gord had an enormous impact on my life. He listened carefully to my questions. If he couldn’t answer them right way he sought out the answers. And he explained Christianity in a way that made sense. He got me to read a book called “The Case For Christ” by Lee Strobel.
Things were becoming clear, it felt comfortable and eventually if felt right to accept Jesus as my personal saviour. I believe it was during my 40th year that I was baptized.
Being a Christian was great. I met some of the best, most genuine people I have ever known.
Me, as a person, didn’t change that much mostly because I didn’t have any great skeletons in my closets to clean up. The major change in my life was that I began attending church and studying the bible with fellow Christians.
And it was those relationship with friends, fellow Christians and the church that gave me the support and strength to get through was going to be a very tumultuous six years of my life. In 2000, I was downsized from TELUS and that led a series of moves that saw me drag my family across the country; there were extended periods of unemployment; significant moments of depression and suicidal thoughts; and ultimately the break up of my marriage. Through all of that turmoil I was supported, comforted and helped by my beliefs, my faith and the Christians who surrounded me. I used to joke that God must of known what was coming in my life and that is why he called me to Christianity when he did.
But there has always been this underlying questioning. Some of the bible stories seem improbable. You could only accept them as fact if you had absolute and unquestioning faith. But my cynicism continues to haunt me and I always question what I see or hear. Even the Lee Strobel book left me with questions, because his arguments and support of the bible as historic events were based on discussions with biblical scholars, who had a definite perspective and reason for wanting the bible to be historic. No where did Strobel engage non Christian anthropologists, archaeologists or historians to gain support for his theories or hypothesis.
I also had trouble with some of the doctrines of the church. I believe in a woman’s right to choose an abortion (although find the use of it as birth control repulsive) and I believe in assisted suicide when someone’s quality of life is not longer acceptable to them. So, how could I accept some parts of the Christian ways and not others. After all, the doctrine does present an absolute, black or white argument. And as someone who lives in the grey areas of life, I struggled with that.
Now I have read a book that throws my entire belief and faith system into doubt. It has taken me back 10 years.
“The Pagan Christ” by Tom Harpur presents a very interesting and compelling argument that much of Christianity is drawn from Egyptian lore and tales. According to Harpur’s sources, the Bible stories were written as allegories, entirely with symbolism drawn from Egyptian mythology about their gods. None of it, including the life of Jesus is actual history.
According to Harpur, early church founders literalized the Bible and presented it as history because the uneducated masses could not comprehend the symbolism of the stories and needed to believe it was absolute history in order to grow the Christian church. Even more audacious is the claim that the Christian Church in 200 and 300 AD, propagated a systematic campaign to wipe out all references to the Egyptian mythology and their by affirming their history as real. There are claims of mass book burnings where entire collection of ancient writings were wiped out by early church zealots. The theory is very Orwellian; if you control the literature of today, you can re-write history and dictate the beliefs of the masses going forward.
Now several Christian Apologist I have read out right dismiss Harpur as a crank and claim that his three main sources are not credible or authorities on the issues at all. But aside from the personal shots they take at the authors and scholars, there is some plausibility to the counter claims made.
I am not going to be able to read or understand the source documents for all of this. And God knows I’m not intellectual enough to wade through the many volumes written by scholars on all manner of topics related to this. So I am left to rely on the interpretations of those more intelligent than me. But who should I believe? I guess it comes down to a matter of faith and that’s how I’ve maintained my perspective for the last 10 years. I needed something to believe in and to hang on to. I always said “If I’m wrong, the worst is that I’ve lived my life as good person, with strong morale values. If I’m right I can look forward to an eternity in heaven with God”.
But as a cynic, who holds little faith in the institutions of mankind (whether it be political, economic, religious or educational), this creates a huge challenge and I am finding it harder and harder to maintain my faith.
The more I learn about the history of Christianity the more I realize that mankind has distorted it, perverted it and used it to keep the masses under control or justify some of the most horrific human atrocities ever recorded.
The bible was put together by conferences of MEN, as the church was forming. It has been translated by MEN so many times that the original meanings of the words have been lost and skewed. And it has been interpreted so many different ways that it can justify or crucify the actions of a man.
So I struggle. My greatest fear is that I will loose the wonderful friendships I’ve made with Christians, because I am questioning the doctrine and the Christian version of truth. But through all of this, I will remain true to myself. Deep down I am the same person I was before I turned 40, while I was in my 40’s and now as I turn 50.
Whether I call myself a Christian or not, should not define me. My values, the way I treat others, the legacy I leave my children and the planet should be what defines me.
And for now, my search continues…………….. September 23 It tells an interesting storyI was looking at the mess that has taken over my bedside table the other day. An image jumped out at me and spoke volumes with a brief glance. There, under a number of items, was my bible covered in dust.
That tells two stories in one. First, it screamed that I have been neglecting the dusting, but more importantly it highlighted how I have fallen away from my worship and study of late.
I have not given up on my faith or Christianity. Far from it. I continue to keep Christ in my heart. I acknowledge that He is my saviour and am thankful everyday for his sacrifice for me. But I have stopped growing in my faith and I have let Him slip from the centre of my life. I also find myself slipping into old sinful habits. Thank God, He will forgive me my sinful ways.
This is so easy to do. I stopped attending church last February because I wasn’t feeling connected and slowly began to stop reading the bible and spent less time in focused, purposeful prayer. I still talk to God on a regular basis, but it is not the same as when I was attending church.
And “Church” is such a contradictory thing.
I have been taught that the church is the body of Christ. It is made up of believers in Christ, with the purpose to help each member of the church body draw closer to Christ and to learn more about His teachings.
And yet the church body is so fraught with human weaknesses it is no wonder non-believers are so cynical about the bible and the new covenant that Jesus brought to earth.
The Church is not needed to be a Christian and get into heaven; but, it does help make a Christian stronger in their faith and knowledge of the bible. It is meant to be a symbol of Christ’s love for the earth and it’s inhabitants, but can often be hypocritical, judgemental and self-serving. The Church should promote the bible and word of God, but has created interpretations and perspectives that cause others to seriously question who it is really serving.
I always knew the importance of the Church body, but the impact it can have is coming into focus. It provides a sense of closeness to the Holy Spirit. It provides direction and learning about Christ and God’s word. And it provides companionship and fellowship.
I miss that….and yet for some reason I am not motivated to search out a church that will give me that, or “suck it up” and go back to the very good church I was attending because “I” wasn’t feeling connected.
My personal life couldn’t be better right now. I am engaged to a lovely lady and am happier than I have been in years. But seeing that dust covered bible put a glaring spotlight on my Christian life and how I have let it slide. My human arrogance allowed me to believe I could stay close to Christ without the Church. I now realize that even with all of its inherent weaknesses, I still a need a church to continue to grow and be strong in Christ. I have experienced the growth and strength I can achieve from Christ and have now experienced the stagnation in growth and dulling of that strength. When I am active in a Church I am strong in Christ and am stronger in all aspects of my life.
That is something I have to seriously think about in the coming days. January 16 The Christian’s ChallengeLet me say at the outset, that I acknowledge and accept Jesus as the son of God and that he died on the cross for my sins and that by accepting him, my sins are forgiven. So why do I continue to have such struggles, philosophical doubts and act in sinful ways? One of the biggest challenges I have faced as a human is the concept of prayer and believing my prayers will be answered. I am experiencing that right now.
I am praying, continually and fervently, that the passport applications of my daughters and myself will be processed and we will all be able to make our trip to Hawaii.
First off I feel bad to pray for something so selfish and simple. We have world conflicts, children starving in our own country and I’m asking God to make sure I get a passport so I can go on vacation. Right there I must be breaking one of the 10 commandments!
Then, even though I am praying and trusting God will answer my prayer, I continue to make plans and think about the possibility of one or two of us not getting our passports in time and not being able to make the trip – Thank You Mr. Bush! (you jerk!).
There are those who say if I truly believed in the power of prayer I wouldn’t worry and I would let God do the work. Yet I still feel that I have a 50/50 chance of getting my passport in time and one of my daughters probably has less of a chance than that.
What does that mean? Am I truly committed to my beliefs? Am I capable of being so committed to anything that I would give everything I have over to it? Is self doubt a sin?
But despite my misgivings, I have never felt stronger or more content with myself as when I am fully committed to a church and the people who make it up. I’ve experienced that feeling a few times and it was wonderful. Unfortunately right now I am floundering in life and wondering as I try to find purpose, meaning and direction in my life.
Christianity is not about guilt and yet that is all I seem to have right now. Guilt that I am not a better and stronger Christian; guilt that I do not pray and study the bible regularly, guilt that I do not want to go to church I have been attending; guilt that I can’t stop my sinful behaviour and thoughts.
All I can do is pray for God’s strength, encouragement and patience with me. September 20 Wow it’s been a while!Since starting blogging I don’t think I’ve gone this long with out posting something. It has been tough lately to feel like posting and I have been busy with travel and having my parents visit (which was a lovely visit).
Today a good friend from New Brunswick forwarded me something that I feel like sharing. It has come at time when I’m questioning things and was excellent to remember why I became a Christian in the first place and why I need to remain focused on God. It is also one of the best explanations of there is so much pain and suffering in the world today. I believe it is an explanation that we can all understand.
DOES GOD EXIST? A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about all kinds of things.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."
"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.
"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist.
Tell me, ...if God exists, would there be so many sick people?
Would there be abandoned children?
If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."
"The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument!
The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.
Just after he left the barbershop, the customer saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair, and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.
The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again, and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.
"I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed.
"Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, ...people do not come to me."
"Exactly!"- Affirmed the customer. "That's the point!!! God, too, DOES exist! What happens is, people don't go to Him, and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."
BE BLESSED & BE A BLESSING July 10 The Word Of GodAdmittedly I find the Word of God, as written in the bible, to be very confusing at times. I am currently reading through Proverbs and can’t make much sense out of some it. Some of the ideas seem reasonable, if not random and disjointed and others leave me wondering “what the heck?"
One of the challenges is that the Bible was written at a point in history that is very different from today. So in some cases we need to put the words in historical context. At other times people will pull out a verse and remove it from context of the rest of the chapter. At other times people will simply interpret the words to suit their own purpose.
I believe the Bible is divinely inspired. It is humanity that twists and bastardizes it to meet their purposes.
When I find something that helps me understand the bible better I appreciate it. Bible studies help, reading it with purpose (not like I would read a novel) helps. Then every once in a while you get something that cuts through the crap on the internet and it resonates with you. Such is the case today. I received this in my email today and it made me go “Oh Yeah”. I’m sharing it because I like it and hope that it will have the same impact on you and that God may bless you through His word.
I take no credit for writing this – I’m not that intelligent!
Malachi 3:3 "He will sit as a Refiner and purifier of silver."
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.
One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.
That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.
As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."
She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully Refined?"
He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it".
If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you. |
|
|
